3 Lies About Fear

Here are three lies about fear that I have learned from experience. The first two are internal. The third is external.

One: The thing I fear is dangerous.

There are things we fear that truly threaten our wellbeing, of course. By and large, most of the things we fear fall into what I call the “horror film fear” category: the fear is a very real sensation, but the potential of actually being hurt is virtually zero.

Two: My fear is an ever-escalating experience.

Nothing escalates indefinitely, though it feels like facing our fears will forever intensify the feeling. There’s a cap on fear, and right at the time you tell yourself it will continue to magnify is likely near the top.

Three: The only way around fear is through it.

This is partially true insofar as avoiding fear assures it will always be there. The cause or trigger remains. But it’s a violent and often hurtful method. “Beating” fear is not like Mr. T busting through doors. It’s more like a dance. We face it, get close to it, step with it, turn with it, until we are familiar with it's movements. When we are synchronized, we can predict it's movements.

I don’t recommend running over your dance partner.