Stop Citing
[Affirmation - XI]
Truth #1: Nothing you think or say hasn’t been thought or said before.
Truth #2: No on exactly like you has thought or said it.
Because of #1 we often a) don’t share where we stand, or if we do b) we share it with a proper citation (author and source).
Because of #2 I encourage you to stop withholding, start owning your stance as your own, and start sharing it with the world. Sure, if someone asks, you can tell them (if you know) what informed/inspired your thought or position, but be sure to hold it with the confidence that it’s yours.
It’s not stealing. (If it is, then everything we think and say is theft.)
We’re not you teacher. (We don’t need Chicago Style citations.)
And the world is better if you don’t leave room to disavow where you are by “blaming” it on someone else.
Own it.
Say it in your own words.
Tell the world.
Sunday Reminder
Each Sunday I'll find an older post pertaining to the current week's theme, polish it up, and re-share it.
Here's today's "Sunday Reminder"
Filters
[November 6, 2019]
My favorite email feature is the one I don’t use enough. But when I do, it’s so satisfying.
Filters.
If you set it up correctly, you'll never have to deal with another email from Macy’s or the Endangered Frog Fund. (To be clear: I've nothing against advocating for frogs. Macy's . . . I can do without.)
The act of creating an email filter is satisfying because I’m doing my inbox a service.
What about the inbox of our brain?
How do we set up filters for our mental health?
Specifically, what’s the equivalent to email filters for the work we are supposed to be doing, the call we have discerned, the revolutionary idea we have sketched out.
There are unlimited channels to receive information. People like us don’t first ask, What is entertaining? Instead, we ask, What will affirm the greater purpose of me being here? That’s the ultimate “filter question”.
Too much information is undermining your call, your idea, your solution. If we’re not careful, the tsunami of information becomes what feels like an orchestrated resistance to the specific work we are sent here to do.
Filter out the distractions!
I encourage you, dear friends, create filters for the naysayers, the doubters, the voices that are bent on distracting you and me from what we know we ought to be doing.
Weekly Roundup: More Affirmations
Sept 28 - Oct 2, 2020
Monday: Each of us arrived here, at this point, with this successes and growth and opportunity, because someone saw it fit to give of themselves.
Tuesday: Questions are often veiled criticisms. If you’re truly wanting to learn, there’s likely an alternative statement—one that unlocks honest insights without hurting someone.
Wednesday: If you woke up, ate breakfast, and shared a glass of OJ with a child (or spouse, or roommate) this morning, I affirm that. It’s worth repeating.
Thursday: I imagine you are the same way. You’re not crazy. We need you. You’re doing good work.
Friday: Real solutions, deep answers, rich beauty: no of these are created at the speed of the news. You're on the right track. Keep it up. (And you’re going the perfect speed.)
Are you interested in the whole reflection? Click on any day, and it will take you there.
Want to help grow the community of people like us that are unwilling to continue in ways like this? Help us spread the word: share on Facebook, Twitter, or with a friend via email. Find the links below.
The Speed of News
[Affirmations - X]
Remember the caravan? The one headed North from Honduras? Everyday for a month it was headline news.
News comes and goes. When it’s in our ears and in front of our face, it’s pressing, urgent, threatening . . . perhaps all three. And then, poof, it’s gone. (I understand this is a phenomenon of privilege.) There’s sure to be one that replaces it.
The speed of information and the rapid turnover of news makes our slow-rolling progress seem even slower.
The transiency of urgent issues makes our longterm, steady hand feel like a bore.
The dispensability of the next fear-inducing story makes the real struggles of life seem trivial.
Your progress is slow. Any faster and it would be inauthentic.
Your longview is not a bore . . . it’s just long. It needs to be!
Your struggle is normal, not trivial.
Real solutions, deep answers, rich beauty: none of these are created at the speed of the news.
You're on the right track. Keep it up. (And you’re going the perfect speed.)
You’re Doing Good Work
[Affirmations - IX]
Somedays I need someone, anyone, to tell me I’m not crazy.
Every so often it’s helpful to be reminded that I’m needed.
On occasion, even if every other month, it helps to hear that I’m doing good work.
I imagine you are the same way.
You’re not crazy.
We need you.
You’re doing good work.
[Side note: Thank you for anyone that has taken the time to point out grammatical mistakes in my daily reflections. You may have noticed that I (almost) always immediately correct them.]
Worth Repeating
[Affirmations - VIII]
She has photographic memory and wrote five books last year.
He graduated college at 15 and is teaching at Harvard.
She got perfect ACT and SAT scores. And didn’t study.
He developed a new battery in his basement. Out of waste.
Great stories, and their sure to make headlines. Tons of media attention.
Uncommon, unlikely, uncanny—almost unreal.
A lot of media exposure and an unlikeliness that it happens to anyone in my immediate community is a recipe for repeating. We repost it on our wall, tell a friend about it at the office, and share it with the barista.
But what about the heroics of the everyday?
The traits and skills and gifts that go unnoticed?
The mundane and sacred responsibilities of the mom next door?
The hard work of your friend or mom or spouse?
Maybe we should share those.
Repeat those.
Post those.
Perhaps it will bring us back to what matters—back to what's real (and not fantasy).
Back to our children. And friends.
Back to the health of our bodies. And our souls.
If you woke up, ate breakfast, and shared a glass of OJ with a child (or spouse, or roommate) this morning, I affirm that.
It’s worth repeating.
Questions as Criticism
[Affirmations - VII]
Questions are often veiled criticisms. If you’re truly wanting to learn, there’s likely an alternative statement—one that unlocks honest insights without hurting someone.
Here are a few examples:
Why are you so offended?
(I’d love to hear your story.)
How can you think that?
(Tell us your sense; teach us your creative way.)
Why are you so distracted?
(Share with me your dreams.)
What are we going to do with all that energy?
(Let’s build something, fix something, create something.)
Why are you so angry?
(Tell me about your hurts or fears.)
Why don’t you understand?
(Teach us your way of seeing it.)
What’s your problem?
(What’s your passion or conviction or concern?)
Find ways to learn and affirm. They don’t have to be at odds.
Daughter’s Day?
[Affirmations - VI]
Is today Son’s Day.
Was yesterday Daughter’s Day?
When’s Mother’s Day?
Father’s Day?
Why do we have a “Day” to celebrate each other? Is it a glorified, cultural commercial? Probably. Is it an excuse to show gratitude and appreciation? Yeah.
News flash: You don’t need a “Day” to thank someone for how they’ve influenced you, what they’ve given you, or how they sacrificed for you. Actually, it’s more meaningful, I think, to do it on a different day than the one you’re told to do it on.
Each of us arrived here, at this point, with this successes and growth and opportunity, because someone saw it fit to give of themselves.
Affirm that.
Thank them.
Send them a note.
(You are one of those people. Thank you. Oh, and thank you, too, Mom!)
Weekly Roundup: Affirmations
September 21-25, 2020
Monday: And you are the only person that can make another, better, more mature and informed, grounded, compassionate, thoughtful choice next time. We need you to do that.
Tuesday: That's when I learned an important lesson: Cooking rice and talking are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but I first needed to learn a better way. There’s always a better way…if we’re willing to learn.
Wednesday: But every time you lean it, push in, and don’t give in, you are cooking up something delicious and life-giving. Thank you.
Thursday: I see it in you. When you let your guard down. When you stop hiding behind your investments and success. When you, even if for a second, set aside the talking points, “what abouts”, and rationalizations, your inner light shows.
Friday: I ask that you pause, listen, and wait—as long as it takes!—to hear behind the sound bite, the anger, the platitude. . . the hat, the sign, the tattoo . . . the color, the weight, the mannerisms.
Are you interested in the whole reflection? Click on any day, and it will take you there.
Want to help grow the community of people like us that are unwilling to continue in ways like this? Help us spread the word: share on Facebook, Twitter, or with a friend via email. Find the links below.
There it Is
[Affirmations - V]
Can you see it in them? Or is their BLM shirt all you see?
Are you able to pick it up? Or is their screaming all you can hear?
What about underneath? Or is it too hard to get past the MAGA hat?
Do you witness it and hold it? Or are your conclusions already inhibiting your consideration?
Do you feel it? Or are your emotions triggered, and now all you see is the person they represent.
There it is.
Underneath.
Beyond.
Within.
It’s on the surface, too, but you’ve already overlaid your stereotype, your projection, your judgement.
I plead with you to look deeper. Where your judgement doesn’t go. Where your stereotype doesn’t reach. The part of them that doesn’t come up for breath or show itself, in fear of the ridicule and wounding.
I ask that you pause, listen, and wait—as long as it takes!—to hear behind the sound bite, the anger, the platitude. . . the hat, the sign, the tattoo . . . the color, the weight, the mannerisms.
There it is.
Did you pick it up?
At their center.
It’s the image of the Holy.
The image of the Sacred.
The image of God.
They bear it.
You bear it.
We bear it.
I See it in You
[Affirmations - IV]
I see it.
It's in you.
Right there.
I see it in the flowers you doodle.
I see it in your daydreams and your ramblings.
I see it in the work you do.
I see it in your questions, your restlessness, and even in your indignation.
Deep in you, despite all the yelling and finger-wagging, is a child—a hopeful, unrelenting youthfulness that dreams big dreams and trusts in the fundamental goodness of cookies and milk with a friend.
Deep in you, regardless of your anger and careless memes, is a lover and learner—a sensitive, empathetic protector of the vulnerable that trusts in the value of diverse perspectives and hard conversations over coffee with someone different than you.
I see it in you.
When you let your guard down.
When you stop hiding behind your investments and success.
When you, even if for a second, set aside the talking points, “what abouts”, and rationalizations, your inner light shows.
And it’s youthful.
And compassionate.
And you are one us that is unwilling to continue with the way things are.
Death and Life and Cooking
[Affirmations - III]
Death and life (or resurrection) are everywhere.
Under my feet in the microbiology of the soil.
In my my body in the biome of my gut.
In my neighborhood in the grief and support.
In the world in the tragedy and compassion.
I see it especially in people like us. In you.
In your pain, when you face it . . .
In your grief, when you hold it . . .
In your loss, when you step forward . . .
In your hurt, when you seek help . . .
In your failure, when you try again . . .
In your emptiness, when you give again. . .
You are a source of life.
Of resurrection.
I know, it doesn’t feel that way. It all feels like a mess of chopped ingredients.
Stressful, painful ingredients.
But every time you lean in, push in, and don’t give in, you are cooking up something delicious and life-giving.
Thank you.
Learning and Rice Cookers
"Talk doesn’t cook rice.”
I think I read this pithy proverb in a fortune cookie or on a Good Earth tea bag.
Either way, it's pithy . . . and strikes a "oh-that's-so-true" chord.
Talking about the to-do list doesn’t check anything off the to-do list. Talking doesn’t put on the work boots. And it doesn’t earn callouses on hard working hands.
At some point, the talking has to stop and the working/cooking must begin.
Or does it?
I’ve cooked a lot of rice. Literally. For years I made it in a saucepan, watched it closely as it came to a boil, turned the heat down to a low simmer and put the lid on, and stayed close by to avoid burning the bottom.
And then I discovered a rice cooker. Add rice. Add water. Press button. Walk away. (And I can carry on a conversation while doing it.)
That's when I learned an important lesson: Cooking rice and talking are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but I first needed to learn a better way.
There’s always a better way…if we’re willing to learn.
You Made a Choice
[Affirmations - I]
So, you blew it.
You made a choice and went with it. And now it’s obvious to you and others that it was the wrong one.
You are not a bad choice, but, indeed, you made a bad one.
Because you were under-slept.
You had too little information.
You were rushed or pressured.
You didn’t have a long enough perspective.
You didn’t get enough advice.
You were stubborn or bias.
You were insecure or blind.
Own it.
You are not a bad decision.
You made one. We all do.
And you are the only person that can make another, better, more mature and informed, grounded, compassionate, thoughtful one next time.
We need you to do that.
For you.
For us.
Sunday Reminder
Each Sunday I'll find an older post pertaining to the current week's theme, polish it up, and re-share it.
Here's today's "Sunday Reminder"
"That's Boring"
[October 23, 2019]
The enemy voice managed to get around my guard today. It said what every creative fears: “You’re boring.”
And I listened, which means, I entertained the nonsense by asking myself, Am I really boring? Will this project put people to sleep?
Boring is kryptonite to creatives.
And by “creatives" I don’t mean only artists or authors; I mean anyone that produces beauty, delivers on their convictions, and presses “send” with their integrity in tact. Really, I mean anyone that creates.
Here’s a sample of boring:
Flavorless potato soup.
The DMV waiting room with white tile floors.
Cream paint with beige trim.
Canned green beans.
Stucco buildings and strip malls.
You, my friend, are not boring!
Week in Review: Art Project
September 14 - 18, 2020
Monday: People like use know in our bones that the over sexualization of our culture and the obsessively partisan nature of our public discourse are not liberating but confining.
Tuesday: We forget it’s edgy potential because we have submitted art to the realm of pure consumption. It’s entertainment. It seeks ratings. And likes. And profit.
Wednesday: But maybe the hardest (and best) thing about saying you’re a creative is the follow-up statement, “And I made this!”
Thursday: Being an artist, a creative, a producer of beautiful things, is not always about making more stuff. Sometimes it’s noticing the art that is embedded in your everyday encounters that otherwise goes unnoticed.
Friday: The art of living is the long journey of making sense of the "colorful swirls" that we’ve been given. And that journey has at least one goal: self-knowledge or self-understanding.
Are you interested in the whole reflection? Click on any day, and it will take you there.
Want to help grow the community of people like us that are unwilling to continue in ways like this? Help us spread the word: share on Facebook, Twitter, or with a friend via email. Find the links below.
The Art of Living
[Art Project - V]
Life is a canvas. I don’t mean a canvas on which we empowered, autonomous folks can color whatever we want.
Life is not a blank canvas. Rather, it’s a canvas that has Jackson Pollock paint already on it. The art of living is the long journey of making sense of the "colorful swirls" that we’ve been given. And that journey has at least one goal: self-knowledge or self-understanding.
Why?
Because a prerequisite to understanding others—making sense of the sense they make to themselves, without judgement—is understanding oneself.
Another way to say it is this: empathy of the other requires plumbing our own depths, at least enough to give ourselves grace.
The art of living is journey toward empathy.
People like us that are unwilling to continue with the way things are set this as one of our goals. Not for profit. Or attention. Or advancement. But to live a more beautiful life—one marked by self-understanding and empathy and grace.
Inspiration Behind it All
[Art Project - IV]
I was up late last night. Harvesting vegetables.
As I put the carrots in the cooler, I thought, These are beautiful.
Art is not only the creation of a new thing . . . art is seeing the beauty all around.
I bagged some edible flowers (nasturtiums, if you’re wondering), each one delicate and aromatic. I literally stopped, pulled one back out of the bag, and examined the petal’s variegation. Stunning, I thought.
Art is about noticing . . . and beholding.
Being an artist, a creative, a producer of beautiful things, is not always about making more stuff. Sometimes it’s noticing the art that is embedded in your everyday encounters that otherwise goes unnoticed.
Some days changing the world simply means noticing, beholding, and celebrating the Inspiration behind it all.
I Made This
[Art Project - III]
“I’m an artist” or “I’m a creative” are hard to say.
They come with a lot of expectations.
And assumptions about creativity.
But they also come with a lot freedom of expression.
And time.
And prerogative.
And self-determination.
But maybe the hardest (and best) thing about saying you’re a creative is the follow-up statement, “And I made this!”
Owning our creativity, our artistic nature, is one thing.
Owning the work we produce is quite another.
There’s a level of reward (and risk) in telling the world that you produced something, that this thing is an extension of you, and it’s the best you have right now. It’s only experienced when we begin to own our work.
Take yourself seriously enough to own who you are.
Honor yourself enough to own your work.
Art is Dangerous
[Art Project - II]
In the 1930’s, the Nazi regime confiscated 20,000 pieces of “degenerate art” from museums because it was a sign of moral decline. The artists—and the art they produced—were signs of mental illness and degradation of society.
This sounds similar to Stalin’s restrictions on all art forms other than the sanctioned “socialist realism” that portrayed Soviet in an optimistic light.
What did Hitler and Stalin know that we forget?
Creative expression is dangerous.
It builds culture. And criticizes it.
It affirms ideology. And challenges it.
It pumps up morale. And knocks it down.
It can conceal. And expose.
But it’s not neutral.
We forget it’s edgy potential because we have submitted art to the realm of pure consumption. It’s entertainment. It seeks ratings. And likes. And profit.
Art has the ability to carry and communicate our deepest convictions. Subtly. Powerfully.
What’s your artistic outlet?